During the festive season of Christmas and New Year, the real truths of underlying and current issues are magnified a thousand folds. One cannot help but reflect on the last 12 months. We can choose to ignore what’s happened and channel our thoughts to other incidences, we may cringe of past events, we may smile on the small achievements and feel a tinkle of pain about our failures.
I had spent most of the holiday feeling rather blue, somewhat a hermit. However at 7pm on New Year’s Eve, I found myself on a train to Brighton, a last minute invite from a friend. Dominic and I, kind of gate crashed a house party in the posh part of Brighton. The food was excellent, and the chef promises to email his recipes for the ham and red cabbage. The company was a mix of Beat Brightonians, a nice crowd. Most were connected to the arts somehow. I hated myself so much for admitting that I owned a small import-export table top company that the during a conversation I had with an Indian guy, who was 50 years old but looked 27, I said I was an actress, a porn star. He’s is a lecturer of philosophy at Sussex University so saw the satirical side of what I’d chosen to be. Having spent the whole evening with these people and my host, I found myself wishing I was something different. I love my job and the freedom it gives me; however, I have spent the last five years head banging worried about the business; which direction; changes, executions, logistics, basically working fuck hard. Combined with the fact that the children will miss 9 days of schooling in January whilst I’m in Paris for the trade fairs, comes as a painful blow of the harsh reality.
Upon moving to London, I had promised so many things to my children and myself. My current business ensures that these promises will not be kept. Furthermore, it will not bring me any closer to my ultimate business: a mushroom farm. I had set myself a time span of 5 years to realise a concrete business plan for the farm, but I cannot see that becoming a reality for a long time, if ever.
I awoke today, 2nd of January 2010, to a new person. I will set the ball rolling for a life style change. I will have to do the forth coming trade fairs as I have paid and more importantly it will be a challenge to coordinate two fairs simultaneously and I would like to know whether my decision to do Bijorcha, the jewellery fair, was right. In essence it will test whether I still have the edge for business.
So the next few months I shall lay the foundation for transitions and by summer the changes will commence.
After Easter, I will suspend wholesale activities, serving only current clients. I will contact some clients and offer my services as a consultant for product development and buyer, I will dedicate myself solely to this. My earnings will be commission based only and will be less than what it had been, but there will be no expenditures on my part other than the odd essential business trips. In short, a greater profit margin without the logistics, this equates to more quality time.
I will therefore have much more time for the kids and our general well being. Perhaps visit Allison in Morocco before Easter. Get a car! And will get my hands mucky and on some mushrooms as a hobby. I celebrated my New Year's revelation by cooking a tapioca and taro in coconut milk dessert. It’s going to be a great 2010!!!!
