My brother has been single for donkey years! He fled the nest when he bought his own pad at the ripe old age of 33. We had hoped that new found independence, and by distancing himself from mum would open up new horizons. However, he still comes home every day; morning, lunch and some times dinner. On one hand, being the only single sibling and first boy, the duty of looking out for mum had been bestowed upon him. On the other hand, the psychological bonds between mum and son can be mind boggling.
Cornflakes, PG Tips and instant noodles are the only things he stocks in his sad, dreary flat. His social life has always been a mystery to us, but we suspect that he spends far too long playing computer games. He has a lucrative job with Credit Suisse, at No 1 Cabot Square, the heart of Docklands business zone. The area is jammed packed with professionals from all ethnicities, most are young and gorgeous. Finding a mate here wouldn’t be a problem for most. Yet for my brother it is just a place where he works.
His lack of interest and/or failure to find a mate became a central family issue last year. My father summoned friends and family in China to find a suitable mate. My mum and sister matched made with two potential, fresh of the boat, Vietnamese suitors. Yeah, I know. Conflict of interests and values are so differing that I tend to steer clear of family affairs. “He’s probably a closet gay” I suggested. “And if you all stopped pressurizing him, and give him a chance to come out with it, he may be a happier person”. This was my unfounded conclusion taking into account that he’d been single for about 7 years or so.
But guess what? Last weekend, we celebrated my niece’s birthday with a simple meal at home. As we were arriving, an announcement came that my brother had invited his new girl friend!!! Woooohoooo! My younger sister cried out loud “Oh no, why is he’s bringing her home now? He should wait at least a year”. We all knew what she meant by this statement. I laughed my so much that got the stitches.
It’s bad omen to bring your brand new partner to meet my family. From experience, we know that an early introduction would result in a break up before the relationship even got off the ground. Mum and older sister always interfered and bad mouthed who ever came through the front door. My other brother still blames the break up of his marriage due to interference from the family. I sympathize with that.
The protocol of Asian families are so damn ancient and blindly biased that even if one of us brought home the executive director of RBS (lol, sorry couldn’t resist!) or a world leader, they would still find faults. The poor victim’s every word, gesture and movement would be closely monitored and scrutinized. An avalanche of indirect, aggressive persuasion would follow until the relationship ends, and then they would say “Oh, don’t worry; there’s plenty of fish in the sea”.
May, the new girlfriend, is astonishingly pretty. Slim, well groomed and discreet. She had already scored high as she’s a pharmacist. A perfect match for my brother who’s a computer systems boffin.
The whole day went smoothly without any hiccups. May lives in Teddington (next to Twickenham) and we so caught the train together from Waterloo. She’s a pleasant girl with an overwhelming awe of responsibility and maturity about her. She’s a pharmacist, what else would you expect? The good news is that Nuria and Maxine took an instant liking to her, which is an excellent sign in my books.
During the journey, I asked her how she knew my brother. Strangely, she was stunned by the question and hesitated with eyes widened in disbelieve. My casual question had inadvertently caused momentary distress. After an awkward pause, she swiftly said that they’d met through mutual friends of my older sister. Shit! I thought. Everything and everyone my older sister knows is tainted. I find it hard to believe that someone of May’s calibre would have any association to my sister. But then I could be completely wrong.
My advice to my brother would be to take lots of long haul holidays with May and stay away until they announce the wedding day.
My advice to my brother would be to take lots of long haul holidays with May and stay away until they announce the wedding day.
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