Virtual Lives- Unshakeable Past

Apparently I have 16 followers and I’m following 11 people/groups/organisations on Twitter. I didn’t even realise I had a Twitter account. But apparently I do.

So, who are the people following me? Friends, organisations I had contact with in the past, an admirer and my ex lawyer who I had deemed incompetent. Seeing my ex-lawyer on Twitter makes me guilty of all the horrible truths I had said. Perhaps I will write him an email to say………..err….not sure what……… but something nice! After all, his heart was in the right place; however he was totally shite as a lawyer. Second thought, perhaps, I shouldn’t write anything.

What’s apparent is that before the internet, it was too easy to severe contact. If you changed your phone number or address, unless there were mutual friends, there were no other contactable means. Thank god, as there are some people I’d rather not see or hear from. On the other hand, there are people who I wished I’d kept in contact with. I had emigrated abroad and moved homes 4 times in the past 11 years. My one and only black address book was lost during one of the moves. This was before emails were common so the contacts were lost forever.

However, cyber social networking has its drawbacks too. Cutting links is damn difficult these days. I had a close friend who went to extremes. Disillusioned and totally disappointed with the people in his life, he set sail and travelled the seven seas. He severed all contacts with family and friends. No one heard from him. He’d disappeared completely, until he was recently spotted browsing in a nautical fair. Does one really have to go to that extreme just to cut off?

As my friend, Sharon had put it: “In this life there are fuckers and takers”. These people tend to amass a great deal of ‘friends’ in all the network accounts possible: My Space, Twitter, Face book, MSN, SKYPE, Yahoo etc. Fortunately, I can’t think of anyone I know who could be labelled as a fucker. But, takers, yes, definitely quite a few. There’s a Spanish proverb which aptly sums it up: “Les das un dedo, tomaran el brazo!” (You give a finger, they will take the arm).

I had a friend who’s a taker (note the past tense). His woos and woes and his misfortunes got a lot of sympathy from women. He’d collected many of them from work, pubs, travels, friendship sites, dating sites and even sordid sexual sites. In his Face book account, women accounted for 89% of his friends. That’s a lot by any standard. When he was homeless, a female friend put him up in her home for three months. Shamelessly, after he had moved out, he said that he had blocked her on MSN because she just goes on and on. Ungrateful parasite.

Amassing friends from all walks of life in all sorts of places has its advantages. When the takers need something, they will call upon their ‘friends’. Like, when they decide to take a mini trip to another city, they will call upon friends who live in that particular city just to ensure they get a free meal, free drinks or even a free bed. Perhaps, if they play their cards right, they will get all three! They of course, offer nothing, but their charm.

On the other spectrum, a woman who has an overwhelming percentage of male friends on her Face book, may not necessarily take material things, but perhaps emotional. It may be, perhaps she just needs a man to fix the blocked sink or install an electrical apparatus or perhaps she’s insecure of herself and needs admiration from the opposite sex. Who knows?

Some people take offence to blocking or deleting friends from their internet accounts. I used to be like that. I never realised that you could block someone on MSN until last year! It was a prompt I’d never had a need for or even noticed. But now, I have absolutely no qualms in blocking & deleting these takers from my accounts. Not seeing their name every time I log on is actually quite NICE! However, since these takers are shameless and will one day contact you again! No doubt they will have allowed sufficient time to elapse so that the dust has settled and that your anger or disappointment will have turned into sorrow and forgiveness. They prey upon your innate goodness and will work on you until you’re ready to give again. Well, takers…advance warning…...don’t you dare call upon my inbox ever again